Better World

I thought that my struggle was to believe in myself, to know myself. Depression told me I wasn’t good enough, that I was a worthless, unusable cog fouling up the gearing in an unwieldy machine. Therapy told me I was a normal person with a damaged brain, that if I …

My Shadow, Your Shadow

Humans have a responsibility to care for each other, and for every other being on Earth. I am afraid that other people don’t believe that is true; I fear that they believe that there isn’t enough, and will prioritize themselves and their own people at others’ expense. Fear, however, hasn’t …

Trouble

When I said last night that Zini was about to get into a whole lot of trouble, David responded with, “She’s got to get into trouble sometimes, how else could she keep her storybook figure?” (said while tracing the shape of a book in the air) Har, har, network engineer. …

Bee Comedy/ Tragedy

Another, happier bee When I was driving on 46 yesterday, something landed in my bra, between my breasts. Eeek! When I was able to take a peek, I found a bee. As I gingerly turned into a side road (regretting the weight I had gained that made squashing the bee …

Bad Dreams

I was just reading a forum over at Spirituality & Health called Dreamwork Interactive, in which you get weekly emails from Robert Moss, a dream worker and shaman whose books I have read and enjoyed. At the top of the forums was a new topic, What Not to Share. I …

Portia

Mary K Swanson Today, I am a year older. At least, today is when I admit that I am. November 1, I lost my alter ego, the cat I have been carrying with me for almost 20 years. I didn’t realize until I started to write this that when she …

Half-Made is All Monster

In my dream the other night, I half-turned into a monster made of metal. I can remember a bright silvery mask on one side of my face, and other parts of my body being replaced with machinery. It was terrifying. Two of my friends had undergone the same transformation. We …

Better Living Through Alchemy

I had a dream in which, instead of renting a house or staying in a hotel, I was painting a house all white on the inside. The house is mine in the dream, and even though it’s small and the yard is tiny, I feel happy. When I woke up, …

My Internal Priscilla

I had been rolling in the meadows of lush me-ness that my last bout of shadow-eating brought me. Then, for two weeks, my dreams were filled with toilets, bathrooms, dirt, and chicken shit. I knew I needed to ask for some shadow… but I couldn’t name it. In my daylight …